People I’m Tired of: Part 2

by tehgay

Coffee-drinkers. I’m so over them.

Not people who drink coffee. Goodness, I drink coffee. It’s a wonderful little contribution to my soon-to-be ulcer. No, coffee isn’t the issue.

It’s those people who think I’m too mean in print, so they think if we go out to coffee I won’t call them out on their entitlement so much. Or those people who have got so much reading to do they can’t possibly read a book I recommend to them, so they invite me to coffee. Or those people who just ask me out to talk to me about all of my gay experiences.

Geez, man. You’re so mean on Facebook. This isn’t how dialogue happens. Let’s get coffee some time and talk about it, okay.

Man, I’m so out of time. And I’ve already done a lot of reading like, “God’s Love and teh Homosexual Next Door” and “Torn.” Let’s talk about this over coffee, man, and you can tell me all about those books you wanted me to read.

Man, I’m really trying to reach out to the other, and I really want to know if you’re a “militant” gay, a “moderate” one, or a “repentant” one. (I learned about these terms in a really great book I surprisingly had time to read) Can we go out to coffee so you can convince me that you aren’t like those really mean militant gays?

No. No thank you.


Still going to pass. I might say yes to hard liquor, but even then you can count on me pre-gaming.

Here’s the deal. There’s nothing in person that’s going to go better for you than what happens online. So, when I write out a big lengthy response, you had best read it. If I link to something, read it. If I recommend a book, read it. Educate yourself.

I know that I’m really cool, and that talking to a person is really engaging.

But I also know that you aren’t really interested in educating yourself if you can only talk to me about these things in person. See, I know why you won’t read a book, or read my online posts. Because in those mediums, for however long you are reading, that is time you are unable to formulate responses in return. Because what you really want to do is talk at me over coffee, not talk with me. That’s what coffee is to you – An opportunity to buy a chance to share all of your super important experiences with “growing as a Christian” and “wrestling with the Bible.”

I’m tired of you saying offensive things, and then me telling you it’s offensive, and then you asking to go out for coffee so you can talk about how I’m just finding offense where none was meant (As if not meaning offense means that you can’t give it) because it wasn’t actually offensive. I’m tired of you wanting to discuss books well off the mainstream with me over coffee, even as you don’t have time to read the ones I give to you. I’m tired of you equating our experiences as though I need to hear yours as much as you need to hear mine. Pretty much, I’m tired of conversation that involves you.

We’ll talk online, the one place I can be sure you’ll shut up long enough to hear me. If you don’t like that, we don’t need to talk at all.