People I’m Tired of: Part 3
People who use the term “homophobia-phobia” or “christian-phobic” to describe LGBTQ* people.
Do Christians often get kicked out of their homes as much as LGBTQ* youth? Do Christians get violently attacked in the US as much as LGBTQ* folk? Are Christians denied the right to marry who they love as often as LGBTQ* folk are?
Do Christians get fired often just for being Christians? (And I’ll stop you right there – I mean the boss goes “Oh wow. You’re a Christian? Pack up your desk; you’re fired.” I’m not talking about some stupid “stand” a Christian takes because they refuse to stock the library shelves with Harry Potter or something like that.)
The answer, dearest, is no. They do not. Not with near the same frequency as LGBTQ* folk.
So stop treating your hurt feelings at being called out on your privilege as though they’re equal to the violences dealt to LGBTQ* folk. And stop thinking that my calling you out on your privilege is “homophobia-phobic.” And stop using those words at all. Seriously, you’re naming a phenomenon that consists of you whining over imagined hurts? And we’re supposed to take that seriously?
Some guy goes to Liberty college and comes away with a burning desire for nobody to think that Falwell is evil. Here’s the deal. That’s not homophobia-phobic. That’s saying “Falwell is likely against my civil rights, and probably wouldn’t hire me someplace just because I’m gay.” Which is homophobic. Saying that a homophobe is homophobic is not “homophobia-phobic.” Sorry.
I’m tired of this entire conversation. Some evangelical gets hurt feelings and all of a sudden the entire world has to stop and acknowledge how they didn’t “mean” to be homophobic. Meanwhile, systemic injustices continue and gay people get bashed. But no matter! We can’t continue until LGBTQ* people and our allies realize how much nicer some homophobes are than other homophobes. As though being nice is a big deal if you’re still homophobic.
I’m sorry, homophobes. Being a homophobe makes you wrong, and that makes people not like you as much because you’re being wrong. That’s not restricting your free speech, and it’s not being unfairly prejudiced against you. It’s called good judgement.
Can you imagine saying “Well, I mean, I think that inter-racial marriage is bad. I think it should be illegal, and if somebody shared with me that they were dating somebody of a different race, I’d lovingly put them in therapy?” That’s racist. But, see. It’s nice racism. People who don’t understand the difference are being racist-phobic.
Sadly, actually, that thing happens all the time. White people are convinced that people of color are super emotional and hurt and would be more successful if they were nicer to white people… Right.
I don’t know what bothers me more; the unwarranted sense of being attacked when in actuality you’re just being educated, or the resultant victimhood and self-righteousness that says that such hurt feelings are so important that they should be recognized by actual legitimately marginalized segments of the population.
Whichever ends up bothering me more, I’m tired of the whole thing.
Get some scissors, and cut it out.